10 things to watch alone on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is the worst. It’s expensive and puts pressure on couples to do something “worthy” of the holiday, and puts even more pressure on single people to find someone to go out with. When I finally came to the realization that it was the most optional of all the winter holidays, I decided to do an anti-Valentine’s Day celebration every year, where I stay home (luckily my S.O. hates Valentine’s Day too) and watch movies in my PJ’s. Below is a collection of 9 movies and one great TV show that are more fun to watch on February 14th than that overpriced price fix

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1. Gone Girl

I had to start with what I consider the romantic comedy of our generation. Just kidding! This is a story of Boy-Meets-Girl, except the boy may have murdered the girl. Or did he? Either way, this is a David Fincher movie, so someone’s getting murdered.

2. The Witch

There’s nothing that gets me into the V-Day mood more than a movie about witchcraft in 17th century Massachusetts. This movie is intense, beautiful, and luckily very short (a brisk 92 minutes from start-to-finish). That is a total compliment to the movie, because it fits a lifetime of suspense and unease into such a short runtime.

3. Kill Bill

A Valentine’s Day binge watch wouldn’t be complete without at least one bloody revenge spectacular by Quentino Tarantino. A two-part, four hour long genre-mashup starring Uma Thurman as an assassin who is out for blood after being betrayed by her former colleagues (and former lover) on her wedding day.

4. The Social Network

I chose this movie because it starts with, in my humble opinion, the most brutal on-screen breakup of our generation. From that first moment, the movie takes off at a breakneck pace. David Fincher and writer Aaron Sorkin spend the next two hours going through the creation, betrayal, and all the (possibly fictionalized but possibly real) drama behind your mom and auntie’s favorite place to post fake news and memes they don’t understand.

5. The Town That Dreaded Sundown

If the horror genre was a BLT sandwich, slasher movies would be the mayonnaise keeping the whole thing together and making it easier to consume. This slasher movie, a hybrid sequel/reboot of a 1960’s movie by the same name based on a serial murder-spree that happened in the 1940’s in Texarkana, TX is pretty damn good. The scares are great, the kills are at least kind of inventive (one involves a musical instrument you typically only see in an orchestra) and it’s very brief, as god intended all horror movies to be.

6. For A Good Time, Call…

A refreshing premise: Two reluctant roommates start a phone sex line so they can afford to rent an incredible apartment in New York City. What’s even more refreshing is that the movie is a rom-com but it’s not about falling in love in the heterosexual way, it’s about falling in friend-love. Come for the feminism, but stay for the hilarious phone sex scenes with some really great comedians.

7. 30Rock

If you know me, you know half the things that come out of my mouth are actually references to this Tina Fey show from the late 2000’s. It may have ended a few years ago, but the jokes are still brilliant and the characters will always be iconic to me. You probably don’t have the time or patience to binge the entire 7 seasons of this show, so I’ve cherry-picked my favorite Valentine’s day or breakup themed episodes. Watch “Up All Night” from Season 1, “Generallisimo”, “St. Valentine’s Day”, and “The Bubble” from Season 3, “Anna Howard Shaw Day” from Season 4, and “Mrs. Donaghy”, “Double-Edged Sword”, and “It’s Never Too Late For Now” from Season 5. Or just binge the entire show from the first episode, you won’t regret it.

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8. The Last Five Years

It’s a real shame that I could only put one movie-musical on this list. This one is special though. The film follows Cathy and Jamie (Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan) as they each remember their 5-year relationship, with Jamie going forwards through time from the day they met and Cathy going backwards from the day he left her. They only sing together once in the middle of the movie, and Its heart-wrenching.

9. Obvious Child

This is my favorite comedy on this list. It’s subversive and fresh and isn’t afraid to laugh at something we’ve been trained not to laugh at, while also being realistic and delicate. Donna (Jenny Slate) is a stand-up comic who loses her boyfriend, her job, and gets pregnant all in the same week. She decides to get an abortion, with the support of her friends and family. That may sound sad or depressing, but it’s far from it.

10. The Monster

I had to end with another scary movie, since they’re the foundation of a good night home alone, no matter the day of the year. This is one of the most suspenseful monster movies I’ve had the privilege to watch recently. A mother and daughter break down on a dark country road during a storm, and over the course of one terrifying night they’re toyed with and hunted by a bloodthirsty creature. Another feel-good movie!

So, in conclusion:

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