What will you do with a drunken American?
You know that feeling you get when you wake up after a 4th of July party? Your first thought is always "oh no, what have I done to myself?" If that’s the way you are feeling this morning, then you’re on the struggle bus. Here are some tips for resurrecting yourself. May the odds be ever in your favor. And if you are supposed to be going to work today, honestly, just call in sick now.
A greasy breakfast
A good old BEC (that’s ‘bacon, egg, and cheese’ for you newbies) is the ultimate way to go to get rid of a hangover. The greasier, the better. Better yet: order it straight to your bed using Grubhub so you don’t have to see the light of day before consuming your greasy, delicious mess.
Gatorade is the elixir of the gods when you’re hungover. I’ve read that there’s something in it that scientifically makes it good for headaches, and tbh I fully believe it. If you’re not stocked up already (rookie mistake), Grubhub has you covered. An alternative that supposedly works wonders is Pedialyte, which is reeeeally leaning into the “we’re great for hangovers and aren’t just a baby drink” thing these days with their marketing. And, despite my prior belief, it does NOT taste like medicine.
I mean, duh. Taking a supplement for your headache will get you at least halfway to normal. I always keep some Advil by my bed when I go out for the night so that I have it next to me when I wake up at 3am absolutely parched and with a throbbing headache. I like to take an Advil, chug some water, and then fall back to sleep until it kicks in.
Water, water, water
Your body neeeeeeds water. No matter how nauseous you are, water will taste good when you’re hungover. Chug as much of it as you possibly can so you can flush out your system and replace some of the liquids you lost by peeing every 12 seconds the night before. Make sure to keep a big glass or bottle of water next to your bed - your morning self will thank you!
Listening to your body
Honestly, do what you gotta do. If your body just wants you to vomit it all up, you should just let it. It’s certainly not the most enjoyable thing to do, but your body will feel so much better afterwards.
Take a shower
Once you’ve taken your Advil and chugged some water, hop in the shower to CLEANSE YOUR BODY OF ALL THE TOXINS YOU FORCED INTO IT LAST NIGHT. Seriously, your poor body deserves it. And you’ll feel like a whole new person afterwards.
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