Too Scot to Handle:
Take a Wee Look at Some of Scotland’s Most ’Grammable Spots
Scotland is green and gloomy.
Like the local menu, which includes haggis and black pudding (actually not that bad with sauce and sides; the fried pizza is bad, though), the landscape is dramatic and will remain with you for quite a while after.
Because I’m loaded and live a life of untamed adventure, I went to Scotland last year for a close mate’s wedding (tbh only the part after the comma’s true, see proof below). Despite liking Sir Sean Connery’s accent and the synthy bliss of Chvrches, Scotland was never on my agenda. I'm glad that changed.
Four of us drove from Edinburgh to Crail (the site of the wedding) via Isle of Skye. You could probs knock the drive over in a day, but if you wanna cram as much content on the ’gram as poss, that means stopping the car at regular intervals to catch all the sights. Basically, set two or three days aside for this road trip.
Pro Tip: ALWAYS ensure your driver is happy/well fed/gets to choose the music, because passengers yelling out “Stop the car!” and “Slow down! All my pics are blurry” and “Can we go back? I wanna get a photo of that” every 10 minutes tends to erode one's patience.
Here are some of the spectacular Scottish hotspots I visited during my week there...
Cafe Royal features Scotland’s oldest Oyster Bar (over 150 years old), so why I ordered the steak is a mystery. Why I ordered a scotch is less of a mystery. This place has a regal vibe – stained glass windows, plenty of wood – so it’s best enjoyed with something golden and peaty in front of you.
You’ll never guess what sits atop Castle Rock... yep, a castle! Edinburgh Castle, which has proudly overlooked the capital city for roughly 900 years, is both #majestic and #moodyaf.
Down Portree Harbour they’ve got their own version of LA’s Paul Smith Pink Wall. In fact, it’s even better: the pier is adorned by a strip of colourful buildings, plus the pub band I saw had a dude playing the fiddle – don’t get that round Cali way.
When I asked the boys if we could go to the store, I meant the store and not The Storr, which is the most iconic walk/hike/climb/sliding hazard on the Isle of Skye – and one you don’t wanna do in shorts during sideways rain (trust me). It’s the result of an ancient landslide and is recommended only for experienced selfie-snappers.
St Andrews Botanic Garden
St Andrews is the birthplace of golf, home to the oldest uni in Scotland, and features this sick garden. The grounds boast a butterfly house and 8,000+ plant varieties from around the globe – it is #photosynthesisgoals
Pure water(falls), plenty of pups, and scenery that makes postcards resemble the inside of a used barf bag. If nature is your thing, you need to come frolic down at this fairytale trail.
Neist Point Lighthouse
I’ve never been involved in an apocalypse, though I imagine it resembles this. Rain jabbing at you, wind that feels like the gods are slapping you side-to-side, and a view that’s both grey and infinite. But hey, if the sheep can make it out here, so can you. While you’re there, check out the abandoned lighthouse.
A tricky, jagged, slippery (the whole thing is actually a landslip, which is like the younger sibling of a landslide) beast of a hike. Plateaus, peaks, escarpments, cliffs – this has all your fave landforms, so keep a firm grip on that phone.
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