Should I dump my GF/BF before uni?

Now this may sound brutal but it’s a legitimate thought that could be going through your mind right now. If you’re in a relationship currently and haven’t already spoken about this but you’re having doubts, hopefully we can help give you some clarity. We’ve got both sides of the argument here, one of our girls split up with her boyfriend before heading off to uni and the other gave a long-distance relationship a go! We’ve kept their names a secret because we’re nice like that. This is just our experience and we encourage you guys to do whatever feels right for you. 

Sticking together

I started going out with my boyfriend about 3 months before I headed off to uni, he was from my home town and hadn’t been or wasn’t planning to go to uni himself. We obviously didn’t plan on being a long term thing when we first met in a dreaded nightclub but these things just happen. So, by the time I went off to uni we were pretty solid. I didn’t see him for 3 weeks until he came up to visit and I always felt like I had to check in with him and reassure him that any one of my 6 male house mates hadn’t made a move yet. I mean, seriously, there were some insecurities there. He came to visit after a while and everything was fine - we visited back and forth and it was nice to have someone to text all the time if things weren’t going right with uni or house mates. Eventually we broke up but we were 3 hours worth of travelling apart and he didn’t actually understand how busy I was at uni so expected me to always be free for a Skype call, it was kind of eventual but at least we gave it a go.

Going solo

My boyfriend had already decided that we were splitting up if I got into uni, so as I checked my UCAS status on my laptop and it said ‘successful’ I had a wave of happiness mixed with a weird sense of sadness! We were officially broken up. I was off to university less than an hour away from where we lived but still, he didn’t want a girlfriend at uni. This was fine, we still saw each other a lot anyway so were off and on for the next year or so but not having to worry about him from day to day was really great for getting on with uni and making new friends. Going solo was the best thing for me as it gave me the chance to really, for want of a more cringe-phrase, spread my wings.

The decision

If your other half is heading off to uni as well, they’ll understand a lot more about the things you’ll be getting up to because if it’s your first year, you’ll have so much on your plate. Also, if your universities are around an hour-ish apart and travel links are good, you might be able to make it work by visiting every other week. If you’re off to Portsmouth and your GF/BF is off to Glasgow, this might be a different story. But remember, if you drift apart, it isn’t the end of the world, it might not have been meant to be or you might get back together during the summer. Or, better yet, you’ll still be friends and you’ll meet someone at uni that fits into your hectic schedule and understands what uni is all about. All in all, the message is - don't worry about it. Whatever happens - it happens for a reason!

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