I stared at the infamous typing bubbles. “I have a crush.”
My heart nearly skipped a beat. His following messages began describing someone.
The hopeless romantic in me waited for him to confess his feelings to me. Then we’d get couple rings and watch all the movies in the world. The Sweeney Todd to my Joanna. Without the murder, of course. Then he told me it was someone who was not me. I would only be his Ms. Lovett, imagining what it’d be like if only he felt the same.
The initial hurt turned to embarrassment; I really did not have a reason to be angry or hurt. It is bizarre how love, or what we think can be love, can easily blind us and make us act like lovesick fools. Still, I wondered why a boy with lovely curls and a shared love of film and writing did not like a girl with short hair and a gentle heart. How come I was so unlucky with love and grew attached to anyone who showed me the slightest bit of kindness? I collected rejections, a locket of unrequited feelings wrapping tighter around my neck.
Unrequited love. The pain and beauty of it all. How we often fall for those who don’t love us back. Being left with a feeling of emptiness. It took me a while to realize something so valuable: someone not liking you back has nothing to do with your worth or beauty. Sometimes people want different things - and that is completely okay. Rejection stings and can be awkward, but the best thing is to remind yourself that you are meant for something else. Don’t lose a friend over being embarrassed, insecure, or prideful.
This is only one of the many things you might find yourself going through. There are flimsy friendships that alienate you and make you feel utterly alone. Relationships you shouldn’t have gotten into, or stayed in. Family members who make you feel belittled. Struggles with self-love, mental health, and a Pandora’s box of bittersweet memories and wishes. However, each thing you experience, each person you welcome into our life shapes who we are. Our identities are all of these things and more stitched together.
We can only accept each of them with a positive mindset. I fell into one of the deepest depressions from obsessing with things I had no control over and wishing things would change. It took me so long to heal from my past and be hopeful for the future. But I stopped harboring my pain and depression and began to embrace adversity and overcome it. Life has a funny way of showing you how strong you can be. Acceptance is key to accomplishment. You can be in control of your happiness. I now am. gif source
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